A thousand different thoughts ran through my head. But, mostly, they were engulfing the fragile walls of desolation too strong for me to escape from. I felt the coolness of blood as it touched my flushed skin. I panted and sank into sobs, even though I felt nothing. There are these times when being is too tremendous for you to wrap your hand around it, so you let it escape the walls of the mind as a dream. Then only, the lines between reality and parallel lives become so strained with the effort of holding them each back. Eventually, it breaks, and nothing, nothing at all, stands as a boundary.
My mind swayed as a pendulum between the years and when eternity had seemed like a dream, it was only one day away. The memories fused with each other and I couldn’t tell years apart, and that made me cry even harder. I gave up remembering and went on counting numbers in my head. Still, I couldn’t stop them from recurring like fighting a flood with a ragged cloth and when you cover a hole with your thumb the water seeps through another and you then you founder. Fantasies bound to stay as thoughts were now confused with the past and I wondered, what the use of living is when all that’s left is not real. And is there a difference at all?
I heard footsteps impending. I covered my head wit the quilts and as though my thoughts were afraid of screaming, they too were silenced. Fear added extra strength to my heart that I knew the moment you start hitting me again it would totally collapse. Instead, you tenderly kissed my bruised arms. it was so vulnerable and the feeling of your lips was maximized. Then, only, I wished the repulsion in my heart would turn my hairs into knives killing you. The bruises would fade in a month, but the degradation always slaps you in the face.