Measurements

My back hurts intolerably.
   I am now in that place where time starts having substance and meaning, and where squandering it does not come without consequences. Is not the mere idea that your entire future hangs on two years enough to send shivers down your spine? And then, it all takes me back to that thing I say quite often these days...."Stupidity Prevails."

    I need to get rid of this sense of duality engulfing everything, of this "Jekyll-Hyde" state of being. And you know, it all comes with bitter irony that makes me have the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. And the 'funniest" thing is, I am 16. I cannot bear how this number contradicts everything I am; even my very face is five years older. And yet, it does not make me hate growing up  any less.

I need a place where things exist beyond measurements.